Your child should now be running around and talking
some. Remember girls develop as a group a little faster so there is a
difference and a range of normal. Males are more active and into everything,
throw things and hit more than girls and talk later and potty train later than
girls. Try not to compare them. Children at this age are now potty trained
but may not be going on the potty yet. They know what to do but can not
control the muscles to release it on the potty. They develop the control with
time and when they can, they will ask to go on their own. They will come and
pat the dry diaper and say pee pee, hold it till they get there, and release
it when they get up on the toilet. This happens earlier in females at 2 to 2
½ and boys at 3 to 3 1/2. But the range of normal is wide with children going
on the potty between 18 months and 4 years old. Also they have total control
and if they don’t want to go on the toilet, you can not make them. Wait till
they ask. Also wait till they are dry at night for two weeks and then put
cloth pants on them to sleep in. Amazingly 10% still wet the bed in school
age so it can be years before they are dry at night. Wait on that too.
Keep working with the speech. Again girls talk more and
earlier. Boys may be saying some words and the published norm is 50+ words
and putting 2 words together in a semi sentence by age 2. However, if the
child understands everything you tell them and they hear quiet noises, they
probably are normal and the speech will come out soon. See the doctor and
discuss this development. If they get what they want by grunting, then they
do not have to talk. You might try frustrating them by playing like you do
not know what they want. It will upset them and they will learn that they
have to talk to get what they want. You also can put them into a mother’s day
out to get around other children talking. You need to use large adult words
in speaking to them. They will not know what they mean at first, but with use
they will learn them out of context. For example, there are now "perforations"
instead of holes in the paper. The tree is "exfoliating". The more you talk
big words the more they learn and increase their vocabulary. You can increase
their IQ and performance in grade school by talking adult language to them.
When they are school age they have to sit and memorize a vocabulary list. At
this age they just absorb the words into their brain. Read some 10 year-old's
books as well as "The Cat in the Hat." Let them watch the Discovery channel
and the Learning channel on TV as well as Sesame Street. Practice the alphabet
letters. Have them learn the letters on sight, not just the alphabet song.
Repeat the letters over and over. They can learn them just as they learn what
a cat, dog and elephant look like. Also they typically stutter close to
three years old. So if you notice stuttering later this year, do not be
alarmed. That will go away by 4 years old. Correct mispronunciations and
practice letters they miss. They typically say "yeyo" instead of yellow. We
expect clear pronunciations by 4 years old also.
Eating is now even slower. This next year they gain only
4 lbs. and that is only 1 lb. every 3 months. We can gain 1 lb. in 1 day!!!
They only require 1 good meal a day and nibble at the other meals. Do not
fight the dinner table. Remember what we said at 18 month’s check up: the
parent’s job is to put a balanced diet in front of them, the child’s job to
eat enough, and the doctor’s job to test them if they do not eat enough to
grow. All adults and children eat a different amount. Make the dinner a
pleasant family time. Keep the dessert in proportion to the amount of proper
foods eaten. You can work the finicky eater in three ways; just be consistent
with your approach. 1. Out wait them. Put the meats and vegetables in front
of them and wait till they get hungry. They will
not starve. Keep putting the food back into the refrigerator and warming it
back up. After a day or so they will eat the dog food if they get hungry
enough.(they probably have already tried it.) If you wait long enough they
will eat anything. 2. Let them do their thing. Let them eat what they want,
give them 16 oz. of milk a day, and a Flintstone chewable vitamin, and they
will grow up big and strong. To be blunt it probably does not matter as long
as they get a vitamin and calcium. 3. Disguise the foods they don’t like.(I
prefer this) Grind up the proper foods and put it in the foods they eat, like
macaroni and cheese. Grind them up and put them into the Ragu Spaghetti
sauce, or into the pancake batter before you cook the pancakes. There is a way
to get a proper diet down the throat in a better tasting way. Get wild and
creative. You may now go to low fat milk (16 oz. / day) instead of whole and
give them a Flintstone Vitamin every day no matter if they eat well or not.
Keep cutting the food up so they do not choke.
They are in terrible twos so read up on parenting from
text books and be consistent!! If you buy them candy one time you go to the
store every 6 months, then they will cry for candy every trip to the store for
a year because you are not consistent. You are causing them to throw more
temper tantrums. Do not punish the tantrums but do not give in to them. Have
as many good times as you do have times when you have to discipline them.
They have night mares during the next 2 years so be
prepared to be awakened in the night. It is our job to feed them, clothe them
and make them feel safe. If they wake in the night, you have several choices
in how to handle this. 1. Call out to them. Tell them that you are here and
they are OK. Some kids will go on back to sleep. 2. You go into their room and
stay till they go back to sleep. 3. You take them into bed with you or let
them stay if they climb in bed with you. 4. If they come into bed with you,
take them back to their bed till they go back to sleep. 5. Make a pallet by
your bed and let them come sleep there if you cannot sleep with them in bed
with you. It does not matter which, just be consistent. Most parents end up
sleeping with their child so do not feel guilty for doing that. There is
nothing wrong with sleeping with them. Do what you two parents can continue.
However, do not do one thing one night and then make them do another the next
night. Be consistent!! And keep the door locked during bed activities so they
do not accidentally come in on you.
This is a fun age. Challenging, but fun. It is all
worth it when they snuggle and tell you they love you.
Dr. Knapp
