Your baby should be rolling, sitting, crawling, and
pulling up to stand. They may be walking alone now but the range of normal is
8 to 16 months. They do not need high top shoes. Just make sure it is a
proper size. They should be saying two words like Mama and Dada or uh-oh. The
main thing you should be working with them this year is to develop their
language. You should be talking to them all the time saying words and telling
them everything you are doing with them. They should be saying up to 10 or
more words by 18 months but understand everything you say to them. It is 18 to
24 months that they really start talking and by 2 years they talk your ear off
saying 50+ words and putting two words together. Also correct them if they
mispronounce the words, and you should not talk baby talk to them. Girls talk
more at every age so do not compare boys and girls. Also it is OK to speak 2
languages and they will learn both fluidly by 18 months old. Do not combine
different language words in the same sentence. They will out put only one
language and if they will stay in the United States, then it needs to be
English. If they speak a second language until school, then they will be at a
great disadvantage. They will learn both languages and when put in the
country of the second language, then they will speak that language quickly.
Get the potty chair out this month and let them sit on
the potty while you are sitting on yours. Teach them the words for it like pee
pee or poo poo, but I have only seen 3 babies potty trained before 18 months
old. Most babies are two years old or more. But go ahead and introduce the
potty chair to them but do not expect them to go on the potty until later.
Let them watch you (no more privacy!) and learn by example. It is OK for the
girls to watch Dad but he needs to sit. Too confusing for little girls who
might try to copy Dad or brother.
They are throwing temper tantrums by now and it gets
worse by 2 years old. They are pretty well behaved by 4 years old but terrible
twos starts at 9 months. You should punish no-nos, but do not punish temper
tantrums. Walk away and laugh at them. Video tape them and play them back to
them when they are teenagers, or send them into Funniest Home Videos and win
10 thousand dollars. But punishing them for not understanding why they can’t
do something is not going to help. Get used to making your child upset with
you because you will do it every day for 20 years. I am not against a small
swat on their hand for touching the electric outlet or on their bottom for
some other important action. You can use time out by 15 to 18 months old. If
they hit you, grab their arm and firmly say no. They also frequently start
biting this year. It did not make sense to me to hit them for hitting or bite
them for biting. Be consistent with routines. It does not matter how you
raise your child - - - just do or don’t. Do not frustrate them by doing
something one day and not the next. Do not give in to the temper tantrums. Do
not punish them, but do not give in. Once you say it, do it. Think before you
speak but once it’s said, do it. The husband and wife should discipline the
same rules and support each other. If one spouse does not discipline what the
other thinks is important, then they won't support what you think is
important. You both must do the same and support each other. You won't always
agree, but support each other. The differences in the two of you is not the
problems of the marriage. If both of you like to spend a lot of money, you
will be broke. So one likes to spend more than the other and neither one of
you is correct. Find the middle ground and compromise. This is the checks and
balances of the marriage, and is good. Neither one of you are correct! Find
the middle between you. Same with going out to party. One will want to go
out more than the other. Compromise and find the middle ground. Same with
discipline. One of you will be harder that the other. Neither one will be
correct. Find the middle of the two of your philosophies of rearing children
and compromise!!! That is the good part of being married …. to average out our
ideas. Don't look on this as the problems of marriage. Both male and female
adults bring different philosophies to the table on raising children. By the
way, do get out with out your children on a "date"!! It is important to have
time alone, time for your children, time for the whole family, and time for
the couple. That keeps the "friendship" with the couple. If all you do is
sleep and eat together, there will be a divorce 7 years down the road and
that's bad for the child. When you have a child you should be handcuffed
together for 20 years because a divorce is devastating to children. Better in
an unhappy home than divorced. So keep the family happy and don't sweat the
small stuff.
You may now switch them to whole milk and the daily
intake is 16 to 24 ounces. You need to give them vitamins but the liquid ones
are bitter and do not have all the ingredients. Get chewable vitamins with
iron and zinc (Flintstone Complete tastes good) and give half of a vitamin a
day (or a whole one 3 times a week) and crush it up into their food. They can
chew it up at 18 months or older. If you are breast feeding, keep it up as
long as you wish. Do not let others shame you into stopping sooner than you
or the baby wish. Many countries nurse until 2 or 3 years old. It should be
limited to 2 or 3 times a day. Because there are less calories in the breast
milk, nursing too many times a day will satisfy their hunger but not supply
the calories. Same as too much straight juice will slow down their growth by
cutting their appetite. Gradually dilute the juice each day to end up giving
1/4th to 1/8th strength juice and it will give them
fluoride from the tap water and save on the cost of juice. Give them a
balanced diet and it is usually more table food and less (or no)jar food. Cut
up the food into little pieces that are smaller than raisins so they do not
choke on them. They can have honey now but no peanuts or raw carrots or food
that stays dry and crumbly in your mouth. You can continue to give the bottle
and do not have to take it away. However do not put them in bed with a bottle
or let them walk around the house with it in their mouth; it will rot out
their teeth. Actually the sippy cup with the lid and spout is a "bottle" in
that it is a container with a spout you suck on!!! So you can continue the
bottle till 2 or 3 years old. Just do not miss-use it. We control many of the
things in our kids lives, like how much salt to put on their food, how much
sunlight to get in, and when to come in from a date when they are 16 years
old. We control many things in our kids lives until they can. When the child
is walking around with the bottle dangling out of their teeth or they have the
pacifier in their mouth all day, then the child is running the house. Give
them only two or three bottles a day, especially they like one in the morning
when they wake up and while you rock them in the evenings. Clean their teeth
several times a day with a washcloth on your finger or a teeth-cleaner from
the store to put on your finger to clean baby’s teeth. Put just a tiny amount
of tooth paste (any kind but non fluoride paste.) on the brush, or finger so
they do not swallow a lot of it. They do not have to see the dentist till 3
but watch the teeth for problems. Don’t put them to bed with the bottle. You
can keep the pacifier going till 3 years old but do not let them carry it
around all day in their mouth. They can have the pacifier for naps, church,
bedtime, car or doctor’s office, but not all day.
We’ll talk about potty training at 18 months. It is more
important to work on their language and discipline.
Dr. Knapp
