The child should be walking now and saying 5-10 words or
more. Girls talk more and sooner and may say 50+ words. Boys talk less and
that is true of adults. Notice at adult parties that the women are talking and
the men just hanging out! Keep working on the language. Say a lot of words to
them and large adult words. They are learning a vocabulary and can learn adult
sophisticated words. They also can pick up the cuss words so watch your
language. One slip in the car you say @%#*%#, and they repeat it in church.
(you heard about the Texas Aggie [I’m one] couple who had a child this age
learning to talk. He started picking up the cuss words. So the Aggie tells his
wife "Honey. We need to S - T - O - P saying Dam!") Our kids clean up our
language. Also correct any mispronunciations. Do not talk baby talk to them.
Also it is OK to talk a second language and does not confuse or slow down
their language development. They will speak only one language but learn both.
Have them speak the language of the country that they will go to school in. If
they speak a different language than English until 5 years old, they will do
poorly in school and you will cause them to have learning difficulties.
Their diet should not be different than discussed
at 1 year old. Milk (Whole till 2 yr.) intake should be 12-24 oz. and a
balanced diet. If they don’t like white milk, flavor it up with chocolate or
strawberry flavor. If they are allergic to milk, give them 2-3 chewable
antacids (250-300mg cal. each) and there is a Soft Chewable 500 mg calcium
tablet in the health food stores that is delicious. They need 700 mg of
calcium each day. The calcium in orange juice or vitamins may not be enough.
Calculate how much they get from those and supplement if needed. Give them ½
of a chewable vitamin with zinc (Flintstone Complete best flavor). The volume
of food is up to them. Their appetite should be slowing down. They gain 14 lb.
the first year, 7 lb. this year and 4 lb. next year. I can gain that in 1
week!!! So do not fight the dinner table over the next 20 years. Your job as a
parent is to put a balanced diet in front of the child, it is the job of the
child to eat enough, and we have never seen a child starve who’s food was not
in front of them, and it is the doctor’s job to test and see what is wrong
with them if they don’t eat enough to grow. It is NOT the parent’s job to make
them eat. Make the meal time a pleasant time. Keep the desert in proportion to
the volume of proper food eaten. Don’t make them eat all their food to get the
cookie. That is like when you and I were made to sit there till midnight to
finish our plate. This amount of food eaten entitles you to this many cookies.
If an adult in the family has that hang-up about finishing your plate, pile on
too much food on that adult’s plate and when they complain that that is too
much food and can’t eat that much, you say: "Right! One person cannot tell
another human being how much food they should eat!" Duh.
Your child is now potty trained!!! Wow you did
not know that! They are not going on the toilet but all kids are now potty
trained in that they know how to go, where to go, the name for it, and they
even will occasionally sit on it and grunt. Nothing happens because their
brains cannot control the muscles. CANNOT control the sphincters. The child
will go on the toilet when they are able to: 1. Recognize the full bladder or
rectum (you do not teach that, they figure it out on their own) 2. Communicate
it to you by patting the dry diaper and saying pee pee or poo poo. 3. Hold it
back and keep it from coming out until they get to a toilet. And 4. Let it go
when they get on the toilet, which is backwards from everything else they have
done. They contracted muscles to walk, and crawl. To go on the potty, they
have to sit and relax the muscles and let it happen. Until the child develops
all 4 steps, then the child is not ready to go on the potty. Many people say
their child was potty trained at 9 months, but either they do not remember
when it was (you can’t remember when they first rolled over 1 year ago.
Believe me the older people can’t remember and make up some young age. …… like
it means they are a better parent?) Or the parent sits the child on the pot
every 10 minutes all day and catches the accidents on the toilet. Then runs
to the baby book and says potty trained. The parent is trained to catch the
accidents. And besides that: when was I trained or Bill Gates trained? And
will the age one is potty trained affect the quality of person they will be
later? We all get there some day. You only affect your child in 5 ways: Teach
them a language. Work with their education. Discipline them to be a polite
civilized human beings and not a wild animal in the streets. Get them a set of
morals, don’t lie, cheat, steel, etc. And get them a Religion. But when you
are potty trained is not going to change the person you will be later. The
age that the child develops control over the muscles and he can go on the
potty is a development like sitting and walking, and you will find a bell
curve for all development stages. Potty training is from 18 months to 4 years
old!!!!! Many 3 year olds walking down the mall with diapers on below their
pants and you don’t know it. Girls train earlier. Girls (as a group) talk,
read, and even go through puberty earlier. Girls go through puberty at 9 and
boys at 14, a 5 year difference. And even the adult male is more immature,
right ladies? So girls train around 2 yr. and boys around 3 years as a group.
There are differences with some males earlier and some girls not till 4, but
as a group males are latter. I’ve had a few patients going on the potty before
18 months and a few over 4 years old. Also males can be urinating on the
toilet at 2 and not poop on there till over 3. Males as a group have a harder
time pooping. That is why men go in there with the newspaper forever! Do not
force the child to go or it becomes a game of “lets see you make me!” In
fact you may want to use reverse psychology between 18 and 24 months by
telling them no you can’t sit on the toilet. If you tell them not to touch
the TV they want to touch it all day! Let the urge to go on the toilet come
from the child. When they have developed control, they will come to you saying
pee pee with a dry diaper, and you put them on the toilet and they go, then
you pull out the cloth pants and put them on there frequently all day. Until
they can: 1. consistently tell you they need to go, 2. hold it back until
they get to the potty, and 3. let it go when they get up on there, and do
this every day for a week, then they are ready to start going on the potty and
wearing cloth pants. So the best advice here is wait. They have total
control. You can make them take a bath and go to bed but you can not make
them poop on the potty. This is a battle they win. Wait until it comes from
them. If they do not want to poop on the potty, they gotcha! Don’t enter a
battle you can’t win. Plus it really doesn’t matter when you are potty
trained. It won’t change who you become. Grandma should be more worried about
if the child is developing their language rather than pressuring you and the
child to potty train. Amazing the social pressure put on toilet training. So
you can’t train them because the weather is warm, before the next baby, or
because they are a certain age. Plus they are now potty trained but do not
have the control to go on the potty. So just wait. The normal range is 2-3
years old.
They are bowed legged now, but will be knocked kneed by 6
yr. old, and straight by teens. This is a normal transition. See the doctor if
bowed at 3 years old. They also may be toeing in but this is usually a muscle
coordination at the hip and works itself out without special shoes. See your
doctor if there is a question but it hardly ever needs treatment. The treated
group and the barefoot group looked the same 10 years down the road. A lot of
money spent needlessly. A lot of people willing to take your money and tell
you your child need those special $150 shoes. Careful. Get a second opinion.
Also one foot may turn out or in more than the other. This is common and also
straightens out latter without therapy.
Keep ignoring the temper tantrums. Get some parents’
books and read. Great advice in those $10 books. I can’t say one is better
than another, read 2 or 3 of them because they say different things in each of
them. You may use time out now. Warn them with a snap of your finger and a
choice: Ah! Get away from the electric outlet or I’ll put you in the room!
One…. Two….Three. Then if they do not get away by three, put them in their
room. Once you say three it’s too late. Put them in time out even though they
get away after you say three. After they start doing better, they will still
try and test this, and you will have to put them in time out every now and
then. Put them in their room (It will not make them hate their room. I
haven’t seen too many 2 year olds that like to go to bed.) for 1 ½ minutes.
Use 1 minute for each year of age. It is a little punishment that reminds them
they did wrong. Putting them in there longer will not teach it quicker. Let
them out even if still crying. They spent their time in "jail". Let them out,
kiss them and tell them not to touch it again. (They will.) If you punish
them 10 times a day for touching it, next year they will touch it less. They
learn slow. Don’t get impatient. Don’t be ugly and talk hateful. AND BE
CONSISTENT! Do not get angry that your child tries to push the limits. You
can be upset only after you are willing to never drive one mile per hour over
the speed limit. We all try to push the limits. Correct your child like the
policeman who pulls you over for speeding. He does not come to the window
yelling and talking derogatorily to you. You are the cop in the house. You
find infractions of the rules and deliver the punishment in a cold business
like manner.
So most important now is to work on their language and
discipline. Read to them. Start naming the letters of the alphabet, as well as
learning the names of animals, etc. And don’t sweat the small stuff.
Dr. Knapp.
p.s. Go call your Mom or Dad, and tell them
thanks. You now realize how hard it is to raise a child and now appreciate
all the effort and self sacrifice they put into raising you. That you
appreciate them and love them. Because this is hard to do! Better yet is to
write a letter. They can keep it and re-read it. Not email but a real
letter. It would be greatly appreciated and better now while they are in
decent health.
